


Trauma Has No Expiration Date

by LaDamaRika



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A Drarry Fic, Asexual Draco Malfoy, Asexual Relationship, PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, draco has PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDamaRika/pseuds/LaDamaRika
Summary: Draco wakes from nightmares and gets comforted by his spouse
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Trauma Has No Expiration Date

**Author's Note:**

> A fic requested by gideongrace on Tumblr

It was one of those nights. One that started out as a calm evening, a home-cooked meal and wine, progressed with warm blankets, clasped hands and whispered words of affection and ended with the most gruesome nightmares.  
Screams, green lights, and dead bodies in a courtyard. His father's, his mother's, his friends'. Harry's. And a face. A nose-less face, burned into his mind like a fiery scar. He couldn't move. Frozen in place, frozen in time, caught in his memories. Inescapable.  
A scream ripped him from his dream, his own. His damp skin felt cold in the cool spring night. Just a dream, he reminded himself, it was just a dream.  
The sheets rustled next to him and a head appeared in the pale moonlight. "Draco?"  
Warm hands stroked his back and held him until his huffed breathing slowed. He planted his head in the crook of Harry's neck where he could feel the warm breath in his hair. This was without a doubt his favourite place in the world.  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
He didn't answer. He just wanted to be held until he could be sure that this was reality. That he was here and safe and loved.  
"It's getting worse", Harry said. "I think we should- "  
"I don't need help!" He didn't mean to sound so rude and cold. It wasn't the first time that Harry suggested getting professional help. "I am fine. It was just a nightmare, Harry." He turned around and crawled back under his blankets, ignoring Harry's expression and ignoring the falling sensation in his stomach.

It was true. He was fine. Most of the time he even was absolutely and completely happy. He lived in his dream house with his dream partner. How could he not be happy?  
But there were these moments when his memories took hold of him. Memories of his childhood, his wrongdoings, and of the end. The Battle, the death, the anguish. Sometimes he lost the connection to reality and clung to it like the edge of a storm-lashed cliff. The wind threatening to push him over and into waves ready to drown him in the deep dark ocean below. It was getting harder and harder to keep clinging. The stone edge seemed to cut into his flesh and his arms couldn't seem to hold his weight much longer. Harry was right. It was getting worse and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to wait until he really lost his grip on the edge. Maybe he needed help.  
He turned around and faced Harry's silhouette. The other man shifted slightly in his direction. Of course, he was still awake.  
"Draco, may I touch you?" Harry’s low voice was barely audible.  
Draco smiled although it couldn't be seen in the darkness of their bedroom. He loved that Harry respected his perks, his changing comfort level of touching. His hand searched for Harry's and wound their fingers together. "Sorry for snapping at you."  
"It's fine, love." Soft lips touched his knuckles.  
They lay quietly for a few endless seconds until Harry broke the silence once again. "You know you can talk to me, Draco. About anything. I may not be good at giving advice – that’s usually Hermione’s specialty - but I’m quite good at listening."  
"I know. It's just..." Draco sighed. "I feel like I don't have any right not to be okay. I have anything I could ever want and if anyone has the right to be a mess, it should be you. Not that I want you to be a mess", he added nervously. "But you were the one that died. You were the one that had to go through the most horrible things and yet I am the one losing sleep and sanity over long-gone events."  
"You have every right", Harry objected instantly. "The war was devastating for everyone and every-one has the right to not be okay."  
“It’s been five years, Harry. I should be okay by now.”  
“Trauma has no expiration date.” Harry’s lips touched his forehead. “Let’s sleep and talk about this tomorrow, alright?”  
Draco scooched closer until he could rest his head against Harry’s arm. It didn’t take long for Harry to fall asleep again.

Draco waited a few more minutes before he got up silently and went downstairs. There wouldn’t be any more sleep for him this night. Instead, he went outside with a hot cup of tea to sit in the silence and darkness of the cool spring air.  
Sometimes he couldn’t quite believe his luck. Harry was with him and loved him despite his lack of interest in anything more than cuddling. That was more than he’d ever expected. And Draco knew that Harry was not going to leave him for anything in the world.  
The sky above him was clear and full of stars, as it should be. Calm and open and endless. A perfectly peaceful night sky. The world was peaceful, too. Well, at least as peaceful as it could be.  
He didn’t fear things that were or things that were yet to come but rather the things that had been. He shouldn’t be haunted by the terrors of the past. There was nothing to fear anymore, was there? It was over, the threat long gone. He should feel safe.  
He sighed and emptied his cup as the first light of the new day crept along the horizon. Maybe Harry was right. Maybe he really needed someone to talk to. Someone professional.

When Harry came downstairs a few hours later, he found an already laid table with all his favourite things and, most importantly, his favourite person.  
“Good morning, love.” He pressed a kiss on Draco's light hair and sat down. “What’s the occasion? Did I forget a special date or something again?”  
Draco took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you. I know that you love me. I am a complete and total asexual disaster, but you love me anyway. And I love you, of course. I know that you just want the best for both of us. That’s why I have decided to get help. I want to leave the past behind and concentrate on the present. On you. On us.”  
Harry reached for him and took his hand. “Well, that’s far better news than a forgotten date. I could have sworn that Hermione mentioned something last week.” He let go of Draco’s hand and reached for the still-warm toast. “I can ask her about suitable options later if you want. Hermione knows all the best Muggle doctors.”  
Draco watched Harry rip the toast apart in an attempt to put the butter on and smiled. “I would like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my very first fanfiction! <3


End file.
